Happy New Year

Today is Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. Traditionally this is celebrated as the birthday of the world, a celebration of creation. While over the past year I have fully consolidated my identity as an atheist, I have not yet been able to fully reconcile this with being Jewish.

One way to counter this that I’ve come up with is to choose scientific readings that resonate with me but also have some continuity with the themes of various holidays. For example, this year for Rosh Hashanah I’ve decided to read Chapter 8 of A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking. This chapter is titled “The Origins and the Fate of the Universe. I’m taking the opportunity that Rosh Hashanah provides to acknowledge the origin of the universe.

I’m always awestruck by the immensity of the universe and by the smallness of humans. Science has not yet provided a clear explanation as to the origins of the universe or life. The best theory that we have, based on the observation that the universe is expanding, is that the universe began as a Big Bang. We are uncertain as to the ultimate fate of the universe. Will it keep expanding? Will it ultimately stop expanding and contract in a cataclysmic Big Crunch? Either way we are occupying the minutest of slivers of this process.

I belong to Reform Synagogue. The reform movement does not take the Torah literally; however, I still feel a need to defend against the literal translation of Torah. There is no way, based on obvious and irrefutable scientific evidence, that the world was created in six days. That’s just ridiculous. Honestly I don’t think many Reform Jews believe this. However the fact that it’s written in a document that is highly revered by the Jewish tradition, it still bothers me at some level.

I have no idea how the universe started, and I don’t really even understand the science behind the Big Bang theory fully. However I choose to conceptualize the beginning of the universe this way because I trust the process of science more than the process of religion.

Why are things funny?

My wife and I had an interesting conversation over brunch the other day. We were discussing the book Free Range Chickens by Simon Rich, which I have recently completed reading (a review will be forthcoming.) The conversation migrated to the nature of humor and why things are funny.

We discussed that humor is really a release of tension. I’ve heard it said that there is only a very slight difference between humor and horror. We often laugh when we feel uncomfortable. Humor is a very healthy coping mechanism. It is a way to approach things that can cause intense anxiety. Laughter often allows safe passage to things that would otherwise cause us to shrink with fear.

For example, in the book there is a vignette entitled “Match.com Profile.” This is a very short, and admittedly rather silly, consideration of how Count Dracula might answer some of the questions commonly asked on online dating websites. In filling out these questions Count Dracula tries to answer the questions as if he is a normal person, when in fact he is intending to lure people to his castle so that he can drink their blood.

“ABOUT YOU: I am normal human looking for human women to come to Castle. I am normal, regular human. I like the popular music and television. You come to Castle.”

The thought of being abducted and possibly killed at night in a castle is terrifying. There are unfortunately real forces and people in our world that are capable of doing very heinous and despicable things. We generally are not comfortable thinking about the reality of these things unless we are forced to, often under tragic circumstances. In writing a short and silly vignette, Simon Rich is addressing a fear that is universal to all people. Because it is done in an exaggerated way by spoofing the iconic Count Dracula, a character that we are all familiar and comfortable with, it allows us access to this fear in a non threatening way. We laugh because it releases the tension.

When espousing the moral high road, we would like to think that humor should not be hurtful or demeaning. We are however wired with an innate nature that is both good and evil. Jewish scholars would describe this as the yetzer hara (evil inclination) and yetzer tov (good inclination.) Fortunately, and for the good of mankind, we have psychological tricks to keeps these inclinations at bay. For example, a surgeon cuts so that he can heal. Our psyches and societal norms have evolved in ways that counter these evil impulses most of the time. However these evil inclinations are still there lurking within us all.  Humor is one way that we can address the fear associated with the evils around us and within us. It is a way to acknowledge its existence while not acting on it. Not only can humor serve to assuage our own anxieties, it is also a way that we can provide comfort. By allowing safe passage to the murky depths of our natures, humor is a way to get close enough to suffering so that we can understand it.

Through this conversation I also realized that when you break down why something is funny, the humor dissipates. I think this is because humor emerges from unconscious processes. When the content of something that is humorous is considered at a conscious level, the humorous aspects of it are lost. I guess you could say that when two people are communicating with each other in a humorous way, it is most likely their unconscious minds communicating with each other rather than their conscious minds.

I’m sure there are a lot of scholarly texts and articles addressing this issue, and honestly I do not consider myself an expert in the area of Freudian psychology. These are merely the thoughts that my wife and I considered over brunch this morning. I should also make the disclaimer that these are the conclusions that I came away with. My wife may have a different perspective.

I’ve been hacked

I just telling the world that my facebook account has been hacked. All is well with it now. Apparently someone changed my password and started to send my friends online chat messages saying that I was mugged in London and need them to send me money. The last time I was in London was on a high school trip to Europe!

It is a bit frightening that this can happen, and it is making me think about my online presence. I enjoy interacting with people online, but how vulnerable am I really? This scam seems pretty benign, assuming that no one was conned…Don’t feel bad if you were, it can happen to anyone! But I could have been on a much larger scale. My money may be at stake, but so is my reputation!

So, anyway, thanks to everyone that alerted me to the scam. Some of you said that you had interesting chats with these people. If you are interested in sharing them, I’d love to hear them….

Thanks,

The REAL James…

Tinkerbell and my looming mid-life crisis…

Strange, but I found myself very reflective after watching the movie Tinkerbell with my daughters a few weeks ago. In the movie, Tinkerbell’s magic fairy talent was being a tinker. She envied the other fairies that had cool talents like making things grow and altering the weather. As you can imagine, Tinkerbell tries and fails at these jobs. But it all works out in the end when she uses her mad tinkering skills to save the day. She ultimately becomes content with her role and lives out the rest of her fairy life happy with what she has.

Well, here’s what that has to do with me…

I had decided earlier this year that I was going to run a half marathon this summer. In fact, this is something that I have already accomplished once, back in 1999. I’m not sure why I decided to do this again, but it seemed to be a worthy goal.

I enjoy running, and I generally feel good when I do so. But as my training progressed into more frequent and longer runs, I noticed that I was feeling less happy about it. I’d spend most of my free time running, and I had perpetual soreness in my left ankle and right knee.

This is all within what should be expected from a 40 year old man with a bit of a pot belly. The zeitgeist of western society norms would dictate that I suck it up in a “no guts, no glory” blaze of pride and accomplishment. But I asked myself, why am I doing this? What am I trying to prove?

I think that I have always wanted to be good at something; to be admired. I enjoy music, so I play the guitar. I’m not very good at it. I took drum lessons a few years ago, I’m not very good at that either. I have a salt water fish tank that is over-run with algae. I have a blog that is unfocused and inconsistently updated. I seem to ooze mediocrity with everything.

But do I really?

In fact, I’m a good father and a good husband. I am admired and needed by my family. I also think (and have been told by many others) that I’m a good psychiatrist. These are where my talents lie. I’m not setting the world on fire here. Not everyone can be Neil Peart or Lance Armstrong. As I approach my mid-life crisis, I am aware that I need to find a level of comfort with being ordinary.

So I have decided not to run the half marathon. Running should be its own reward, and I should run regularly at moderate levels. My health and well-being will flourish with neither the time commitment nor the aches and pains.

Great. But the thing is, since I have decided this, I haven’t been running very much at all. It can be black and white with me sometimes. I find it difficult to be consistent when I don’t have a definable goal.

I’m not quite sure yet how this is all supposed to work.

Compromise and human nature

I posted this on The Talking Reef Internet forum. In the discussion lounge, fellow reef keepers began to air their political gripes. This is what I had to offer. (Click Here to see the original thread.)

I came here to read about fish stuff, and ran smack into the middle of a full out political debate!

I look at it this way, things are never as good as they seem and things are never as bad as they seem. What seems absolutely 100% right to you seems 100% wrong to someone else. There is no point in arguing because we are all at some level entrenched in our belief systems. We fall prey to the logical fallacy of confirmation bias to substantiate our world view, and we tend to aggregate around people with similar views.

That’s fine, its the way we are wired. But that is why we need a political process to achieve progress through compromise.

That is also why we need things like reef tanks. We need neutral common ground on which to relate to each other. Otherwise we’d all be at each others throats!

A moment during my run

The other night I went for a run after sunset around the neighborhood. Along the way I had a moment that I thought was worth sharing.

As usual, I was listening to music on my iPhone. My favorite is progressive rock/metal and my latest infatuation has been the band Tool. Their music is dark, complex, dynamic, moving, thoughtful, and at times disturbing. Maynard James Keenan is a freak of nature. His vocals are aching at times. His lyrics are very intellegent, but frequently strike an emotional chord. The other star is Danny Carey, the drummer. His tracks are as artful as they are technically proficient.

On the Lateralus CD, there is a song called Ticks and Leeches. It’s not the best song on the album, that honor would go to either Schism or Parabola, but it is still very good. It starts out as a loud jam in an odd time signature with Kennan screaming the lyrics. In the middle of the song, there is a stark chage in the tone and tempo to a darkly beautiful and hypnotic interlude.

I was listening to this song, running on a path through some trees. Just as the song dynamically shifted, the trees opened up revealing a long moon lit meadow with high grass and hundreds of lightning bugs twinkling in the dark depths. I stopped and savored this for a moment, letting the music rush over me.

I went on to finish my run with lifted spirits.

Passover

Here are some thoughts on Passover this year.

I had a good time at our family Seder, and then again had fun the second night with friends. As usual, I ate too much matzah and brisket. I enjoyed telling the story of passover to my kids. I was proud that my daughter could say the 4 questions in Hebrew. I had fun flipping plastic frogs across the table.

I really hope that my kids hold times like these in their memories as they grow up, and think warm thoughts when they reflect back on them.

But…

There is a cognitive dissonance that I feel while going through the Seder. I do not believe that there is a God, and therefore I don’t believe that he chose the Jewish people, he didn’t send plagues on Egypt and he didn’t split the Red Sea. These are all myths. Sure, slavery is bad, and people should be freed from oppression. That is a good lesson. But it bugs me that none of this stuff is true. Part of me realizes that it doesn’t have to be true, but there is a struggle for me.

A while back, I decided that I can participate in Jewish rituals and celebrations by substituting “the Jewish tradition” in place of “God.” I have found that this works most of the time for me. But I feel like I’m selling out at times. At other times, I wish I wouldn’t worry so much about this stuff and just go with the flow.

Anyway…Happy Passover!

The Macallan

The Macallan

The other night, I braved a trip to a liquor store in a semi-rough neighborhood. This was the only place around that carried The Macallan. As I pulled up in my imported car and bought a $50 bottle of scotch I realized that I was one of those latte sipping liberals that Rush Limbaugh whines about.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I am a big fan of Neil Peart, the drummer from Rush (the band, not the blow hard right-wing radio nut-job.) In addition to his music and drumming instruction videos, I have read all of the books that he has written about his biking and motorcycle adventures. In his writing, he shares that most evenings, he winds down with a glass of The Macallan.

Over the years, I have occasionally noticed a bottle of The Macallan on the shelves behind the bars at restaurants. I’d make a passing note that this was what Neil Peart drinks and tell myself that I should try this someday.

Several weeks ago, I went out for dinner with my wife at a nice restaurant in town. Our table wasn’t ready when we arrived, so we sat and chatted in the bar for a few minutes. I ordered a glass of The Macallan. The bartender asked me how I wanted it. Not knowing any better I said with ice. As I sipped for a while at the bar and later at our table, I realized that this stuff is really good. My wife, a veritable teetotaler, tried some and grimaced, “Why would anyone drink that?”

A few weeks later, I ordered The Macallan, again with ice. Again I deemed it to be good.

Hence my trip to the liquor store.

When I got home, I was proud of my purchase. I admired the bottle and found a good place to display it in my kitchen. Like any good latte sipping liberal, I went on the Internet and googled “How to drink whiskey.” This was actually very informative. I quickly learned that it is almost sacrilegious to put ice in a single malt scotch. I immediately wondered what the bartenders at the restaurants thought of my previous orders.

So tonight, having done my research, I’m having my first un-iced single malt scotch. It is very relaxing and enjoyable. The flavors are more pronounced without the ice. The flavors and aroma are very complex. There is also something cool about drinking something that sat in a barrel in Scotland for 12 years.

It is nice to add another of life’s pleasures to my repertoire.

Review of The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama

The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream by Barack Obama

I enjoyed reading this book. Barack Obama writes in a very down to Earth way. I thought he was surprisingly honest when talking about his family and the way he thinks and solves problems.

I realize that this was a memoir written as part of his presidential campaign. It is basically his platform, and he goes through the various issues that at the time he anticipated would be the agenda for his campaign.

He is a liberal Democrat. He is not apologetic about this, nor should he be. The Conservatives have so vilified the liberals over the last few decades that this label is often publicly regarded as slanderous. He sees a role for government in peoples lives. He advocates for laborers and government regulation. But he also advocates common sense and compromise.

I was slow to warm up to Barack Obama as he ran for President, and I still have my reservations. I do not agree with him on every issue. But I do respect his integrity, his intelligence; His willingness to admit and learn from mistakes, and his willingness to compromise.

The thing that was most interesting to me as I read was his accounts of being a very busy working Father. Men do not have an Oprah as a sounding board. It was nice to see how he handled different situations and how he and his wife make it work.

View all my reviews @ goodreads.com.

“Now a Major Motion Picture!”

Did you ever notice that when a book is adapted to film, it is re-marketed with the words “Now A Major Motion Picture” on the cover?

First off, the book was not transformed into a movie. A film may have been made as an adaptation, but the film is not the book and vice-versa. That would be like taking a picture of yourself, displaying an enlarged version of it on a sign by the freeway, and affixing a label to yourself that says “Bob, Now a Major Billboard!”

Next, why the dramatic adjective “Major?” This is presumptuous and unnecessary. What need is there to distinguish major from minor adaptations? In our more is better culture, we sometimes are given to histrionics. Consider Extra-Strength Tylenol. When you get a chance, look in the pharmacy section of your grocery store. There are 10 different permutations of Extra-Strength Tylenol. Gel-Caps, liquid, tablets etc. But where’s is the regular strength Tylenol? It’s there, you just have to look hard for it. Like the word “Major,” “Extra-Strength” has lost its meaning.

Finally “Motion Picture” Who says this? In today’s world it’s a movie or a film. This is no doubt a reflection of the distant era in which this phrase was originally used. There seem to be certain things in the field of advertising that have not progressed from earlier times. For example, the “As Seen on TV!” label. This is usually printed in bold red exuberant letters on the packaging of cheap household items. That this product was advertised on television does not make it in any way special. When I see it, I don’t have any desire to purchase the item because it was on TV. I’m more inclined to think “this product is probably a real piece of crap!” Similarly, when I hear “Motion Picture,” I tend think “boring old movie.”

If something must be advertised on the cover, I suggest “see the film adaptation, now in theaters.” It’s contemporary and to the point.